Waiting

Waiting and patience have never been my strongest quality. In my life I have always wanted to know now and get things done now. However, not all people work that way and God doesn't always answer now or when we want him to.

Lately I have found myself struggling with waiting and being very upset with God about how he is not answering my prayers or responding to me. I keep pleading and praying with God about a few select things and wonder why he doesn't hear. When he hasn't answered I have been frustrated and have found myself pulling away from Him and really feeling no hope.

I have felt guilty about feeling this way about God but I was reminded the other day by a blog I read an encouraging email from someone that is not in normal circle of friends that " I heard a really good message by a woman on our emotions and the thing that stood out to me most in the message, that I keep coming back to, is that God is honored in our struggle to respond rightly because it shows that we recognize our need and want to change. So the fact that you are even struggling towards responding well is a grace from him and evidence of his continued work in your life. I know that is something I need to hear so often!"

When I heard this all the guilt I felt toward being upset with God went away. I realized God understands my heart and he is waiting for me to respond and how I respond is key.

The next step for me isn't as easy. Waiting... Waiting for God's timing and for HIS will to be done. It is out of my control which is hard for a type A such as myself to give up. But while in Michigan on Monday I experienced what waiting on the Lord looks like. Ben's dad or as I call him...my 2nd dad had his chemo treatment with this new drug that the doctor said would probably not work. They even told him a month ago that he would only have 6 months to live. Well, guess what, 5 months after being diagnosed with cancer and endless prayers and what seemed to be forever waiting...the cancer is beginning to go away and the results have been dramatic.

There are other areas in my life right now that I have been struggling with waiting and watching my 2nd dad walk out of the clinic on Monday after his treatment and seeing the faith he has had gave me hope.

A wonderful song came to mind by John Waller that sums up waiting on the Lord. I am encouraged today as I begin to wait on him.


I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord