Infertility- Our Journey--Our Story--His Glory

So after much thought and suggestion from someone (wink wink... Amanda) to write about our story...I finally am going to take the plunge. Because that is what it is. A story of pain, confusion, anger, contentment, discontentment, hope, joy, encouragement and peace. Our story.

Infertility. A word I never thought would be apart of my life. A word that I don't like and yet has changed my life incredibly.

It has been three years since Ben and I started trying to have another little kiddo. For those of you who don't know...it took us about a year to conceive our beautiful Addison Rose. While pregnant, at 12 weeks we found out Addy was a twin and we lost the other baby. When Addy was born the doctors found a few cysts on my ovaries and cut them out at the time of the C-section. I gave little thought to what those cysts might mean.

Once Addy turned one we decided to try for another little blessing. However, after a year of trying we decided to go see my OBGYN to see if anything was going on. The first of many steps was to try a medicine to see if that would help the process since there was no indication of prior issues. When that didn't work we proceeded to some tests that would later tell us that I had severe endometriosis that went into my reproductive organs and liver, my tubes were closed due to the endometriosis, my uterus was retro flexed and my ovaries were on top of each other. My insides were just a big hot mess. After all this treatment/tests my OB had me seek care with a Reproductive Endocrinologist. After many tests and different medication treatments, they decided in March 2013 for me to have surgery to remove cysts, open my tubes and also make sure the cysts were not cancerous. The surgery was a success and there was no cancer. After the surgery, we did a few different medication treatments while trying to conceive naturally but none of those worked. My cysts continued to grow and everything just felt hopeless. Getting my period ever month just killed me. I felt overwhelmed. The doctors said my only option would be IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).

In May, we decided to stop treatment and just pray about what the Lord might want for us. Pray for a miracle, since God is in that business anyway. So, summer came and went with no progress and we gave it much thought and in September we decided to proceed with IVF after much thought, prayer and guidance from family/friends. In order to prepare for IVF, one has to be on birth control first, then lots of medications and shots. I got up to taking four shots a day. I remember each day thinking and telling myself, "keep going because this could help you have your baby" and yet wanting to quit each day I woke up.

As this journey has gone on...I started by praying for a baby because that's what "I" wanted. As time went on I started praying for specifically and also for HIS will. And in November I actually prayed that the Lord would stop the IVF cycle if it wasn't going to produce a baby. I felt like that would make things easier to cope with. Well, he answered that. On November 11, my doctor called and said they would have to cancel the IVF cycle because I wasn't producing any follicles (eggs). When that call came, I was devastated and yet part of me knew it was going to happen. I have tried through this process to remain hopeful but honestly it was hard. The doctor told Ben and I that since I went through all the shots that we could try and IUI (Intrauterine insemination)instead of the IVF since we had come all that way...so we proceeded with that. On November 27 we would find out if it worked and if I was pregnant.

For the first time I felt incredibly hopeful but again I prayed, "Lord, if I am not going to be pregnant, help me get my period the day before that appointment on the 27th." Well, on November 26th I got my period. Although, he answered my prayer, I was still heartbroken because I truly wanted another child but didn't want to keep getting disappointed each month.

Today, I was scheduled to meet with my reproductive endocrinologist via phone call.  He called me and began the conversation by saying, I am sorry this didn't work out. He said that he just doesn't think that I am able to get pregnant via IVF, medications,etc... He talked with me about donor eggs (which Ben and I already agreed we are not doing--personal preference), he mentioned adoption and also treatment for my endometriosis.  He suggested me to see another doctor who deals with endometriosis and possibly doing another surgery because my issues is so severe. However, he asked me how I felt about all of this and I said, "You know, God is bigger than all of this, He is a God of miracles and I will continue to believe that whatever happens the Lord has my best interest at heart." Let's just say there was a silence on the other end but then he said, "That's why I like you Katie, you don't give up, you have a hope that other's don't have." He told me to say hi to Ben and that was the end of the conversation.

Now, if you asked me even a week ago how I felt...I would have said I was angry with God...Why would he do this to me? Why is it so hard to just have a baby when it is such a natural thing? In the last three years, I have had a flood of different emotions: jealousy, discontentment, anger, bitterness, sorrow, peace, joy and contentment are just a few...

Last Tuesday when I was told we were pretty much done trying to have kids, the anger in my heart was horrible. I didn't really want to talk with anyone and yet I was flooded with emails from family, friends, my BSF (Bible Study Fellowships) ladies, and wonderful ladies from my church. Every email had bible verses of hope and encouragement. I also had a wonderful phone call with my sister in law, Katie encouraging me not to give up hope...that our hope is in Christ. My identity is in HIM, not in my infertility.

Over the past three years my trust in the Lord has increased, my attitude has changed, my heart has become more obedient to him. On this journey, I have neglected people, I have put my thoughts/wants ahead of what God's plan is for me. I have been discontent with what I already have; I have taken things for granted. It wasn't until a year ago at BSF did I truly understand how much I needed HIM and how much more I needed to trust in him. As we studied Genesis, I watched how Sarah and Abraham waited and waited for their child...for MANY YEARS!!!

It wasn't until Tuesday through different people did I truly understand where my hope was and who it was supposed to be in. I really still had a heart of discontentment. I didn't realize how I really hadn't been obedient, fully obedient to what he wants for my life. So much of my last 3 years was about my wants/desires and what I didn't realize is that maybe that wasn't apart of HIS plan.

God has done a work in me and it isn't finished yet. I am extremely thankful for the amazing patience and understanding of my WONDERFUL husband through the last three years. I am thankful for the grace/mercy both him and Addy have shown me when I haven't been the best wife and mom. I have taken for granted what is right in front of me. My husband is amazing...to put up with my hormones raging and my craziness...not sure how he lived through this. I am thankful for him, beyond belief. He has been an amazing rock. He has been a huge support, always trusting in God, always hoping for the best and always trust HIS WILL for us. Ben is an amazing man of God, someone that is quiet in his faith but lives his life for Christ by example more than anyone I know. He has been an example to me of how to be a better person. He has shown me how to be content with what the Lord has given me.

 I have been so thankful and overwhelmed by the amazing people in my life that have taken time to care, have listened, have come over and  even brought ice cream (Krista...wink wink). I am EXTREMELY thankful for my family who have stood by us through every step of the way. As my mom and Ben's mom watched Addy numerous occasions while I went to endless appointments. As my wonderful father in law sat with Ben as I had surgery, came with me to numerous appointments as he fought for his own life. As my wonderful dad who always had a word of encouragement or bible verses that always just fit what I needed to hear, Romans 8:28 being one I have held dear to, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." To our parents and siblings who have been there for Ben and I more than we could have even imagined. To my wonderful sister in laws, Amanda and Katie who every step of the way have called, taken time to care and show their love. To my cousin Molly, who has sat with me through BSF and encouraged me through the different teachings to trust in him. For all my other family, who have gone out of their way to pray and be ever present in our lives during this time. To my friends, who just took the time to email/call or whatever it might have been. We have been blessed tremendously. God has really used other's to show me how much HE loves me. God has spoke through others and HIS word in a way I could have never imagined.

On Wednesday, November 27th after a day of being with my SIL, Katie and spending time with my parents, I felt a peace, a contentment like I have never felt. It is Jesus, dwelling in me and me seeking him more that I ever have. Being in His Word and praying daily for him to be apart of every moment of my life. I know God is not done with me yet and although the doctors say I can never get pregnant, I know I serve a God who can move mountains, can tame a lion, can walk on water. But if he chooses not to do that for us, boy am I glad he gave me my one miracle.
Thank you Lord for blessing me this past three years with hardships because it all led back to YOU! May I always give you the Glory!

We are so thankful for our miracle!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18  "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Blessings in the Storm

This past month has been quite the storm for our family in many different ways. Firstly, with the loss of my wonderful father in law it has left each of us missing him and grieving in different ways and in different times. But we know he is with the Almighty Creator and he is no longer suffering. We take comfort in that and know we will see him again.

Secondly, I  want to write today about the events of this week. On Monday, I went to see an Endocrinologist myself for a second opinion in regards to my fertility issues. The doctor was wonderful but she said that there is just too much going against me to get pregnant naturally ever again.  The endometriosis is one thing but add on the retro-flexed uterus, flip-flopped ovaries and you got yourself a mess in there :) She said our best option if I want to carry a child is IVF.

Needless to say I left the office feeling discouraged.Its hard not being able to have a child and feeling like it is your fault because I have all these things wrong with me. Numerous people have shared advice. Some people have been against IVF and others think...go for it. Either way I haven't felt settled on what God wants us to do. So Tuesday I began praying the Lord to make it clear to me...

Wednesday I had the wonderful opportunity to start BSF with my cousin Molly again. This is something I enjoy and truly crave each week...It was a blessing in the midst of my storm. Women meeting together and worshiping our savior and even more of a humbling day being on the anniversary of 9/11. I was also able to enjoy the evening with two wonderful ladies (Christina and Angie) who always can make me laugh and encourage me to seek the Lord's guidance.

Thursday, I would say was one of the worst days of my life as a mom. Addy was scheduled to have a second opinion in regards to her endocrine issue. I went into the appointment just thinking it was early puberty as the last doctor said. Little did I know minutes into the appointment the doctor would say that her levels are so high, we need to check for a tumor...Tears just streamed down my face as my sweet girl would have to have an ultrasound and be checked for a tumor.

Before we were sent to the radiologist the doctor asked me out of the blue if I had issues conceiving and had endometriosis. I had told her I was having lots of fertility issues and she stopped me and said she had the same exact issue. (mind you at this point I have not met anyone in person going through/gone through the same issue)She had one child and couldn't conceive a second and she boldly said she and her husband did IVF. She encouraged me and gave me hope. Again, another blessing God using this doctor to encourage me in the midst of Addy's appointment. The doctor went onto say that the IVF she had done was at the same clinic I am being seen at. Coincidence; I think not...It was God, it was God answering my prayers of needing to hear someone else going through the same issue and being encouraged by it.

We proceeded to radiology, they did the ultrasound. Watching my sweet girl sit there so patiently and yet it the midst I could see her start to tear up. She turned to me and says "I'm so glad you are here mom, but I need my daddy to protect me to." I of course just lost it again... Those precious words from that sweet mouth. A little blessing in the midst. The test was over and they said they would call us in 24 hours with results...WAIT!!!!!! Yuck, I hate waiting but I am starting to get better at it....

Ben got home from work and we just wanted to get our mind off things so we ran some errands and took Addy to La Casita for dinner. Everything was wonderful and fine until we left. We got Addy a mint on the way out and started to walk out to the car. She tripped on the curb and when she tripped the mint got lodged in her throat and she couldn't breathe.

In the next moment which felt like years...I remembered my brother, Scott taught me the Heimlich maneuver. I immediately grabbed Addy and did it once...nothing happened. I did it one more time and it came flying out. In those few short minutes I was so scared I was going to lose my little girl and yet God gave me this amazing calmness to help her.

As I write you now, my sweet girl is resting in bed. We heard from the doctor today and she does NOT have a tumor and just has some adrenal gland issues we will probably have to monitor the rest of her life but I will take that!

So, yes this was a lot to write but I just wanted to share how good God is. In the midst of all our storms this summer. God has always been there. He has never left. Even when something was extremely bad; God showed up and made it a blessing. Its amazing to me how he uses others to bless us.

We are extremely thankful for all the prayers for Addy the past couple days. The prayers in and of itself are a HUGE blessing.

The last thing I want to share is this song that is probably my favorite...My mom also got me a devotional to go with this song by Laura Story.

Blessings

Lyrics:
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel you near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if each promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win, we know
That pain reminds this hearts,
That this is not, this is not our home.....
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.
What if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?

Blessings by Laura Story



A Man of Great Faith

As many of you know my wonderful father in law passed away, just over a week ago. All 4 children(Ben-son, Katie-daughter, David-son-in-law and I-daughter-in-law) had the honor of speaking at his funeral. Many of you attended and were able to hear just what a wonderful man he was and how much of an impact he had on the lives of others.
I just wanted to share what Ben and I said at the funeral. May these words speak to your heart and may dad (Charlie) be an example to you of how we are to seek Christ in all we do. As I told my hubby, you can't talk about dad without talking about Jesus in the same breath. I pray that one day I would leave this same legacy for my family. Dad was a great example of a man with amazing faith and obedience to Christ. His example in how he led his life has encouraged me to really examine how I lead my life as a follower of Christ. In all he did, he gave Glory to God.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Katie's Speech:

For those of you who don’t know me, I am Ben’s wife (Katie) or as dad called me Rosie. There are many memories that I have, since I have the privilege of knowing dad for 16 years. All of the memories I have, show the character of the man he was.  I would like to share a few memories which stood out to me. Which leads into the first day I met him.

Ben and I both played basketball for Meadow Creek and when we went to away games both the girls and boys team rode on the same bus. I had never met dad before this particular day. As we sat on the bus headed to Chisago Lakes; I noticed that all American stud sitting up at the front of the bus, so I made my way up there to sit by him. Little did I know what was about to happen…As I began to flirt with Ben…A tall white haired man walked up to me and said “Leave my son alone, he has to concentrate on his game.” Let’s just say the first impression of dad left me a bit scared.  
As I started dating Ben this moment stuck in my head, I knew Ben was so important to his dad, his children were important to him. After 6 years of dating Ben, we got married. Until that day I didn’t know just how important his children were to him. In the bible it says that when a man leaves his parents he will become one with his wife. Dad lived this scripture. When I married Ben I became dad’s daughter too, not just his daughter in law; his daughter. That’s how he introduced me and that is how he treated me. I was never on the outside, I always felt I belonged.
The wonderful nickname that a lot of you know me by, which is Rosie was given to me by dad. The story behind this is that one day Ben was not being nice to me so…Dad turned to Ben and said “Don’t be mean to my Rose Bud”. Then the name just stuck. Even until his last days, he would ask for me by asking “Where is my Rose Bud”. A nickname I will always cherish because this showed his deep love for me.
Being a part of his family was always fun and exciting. Especially on those days where he would call me and I would be at Target while grocery shopping and he would say to me wait, I will be right there…And I would be like “why does he want to shop with me?” He would show up and pay for all my groceries… I am sure it always was odd seeing a girl crying in the Target line as my wonderful generous dad would pay for it all. Just one example of his generosity to others, especially his family.
Probably one of my most impactful memories I have is from March of this year. I was told I had to have surgery remove some cysts. I was so thankful that my wonderful husband could be with me for this. But what I didn’t expect was to see dad who had  chemo all day long the day prior and then drove home from Marquette MI over 9 hours while deathly ill to be right by my side for my surgery.  He sat there for 9 hours waiting for my surgery and recovery to be done. He sat there quietly, not complaining (although very ill and suffering), he sat there just being a support, a rock. Through the struggles Ben and I have gone through this year with fertility, he has been there each step of the way. Coming to my appointments with me and advising me. He never left me. Surpassing the duty of a father in law. Each day though struggling to fight for his own life, he didn’t think of himself, he always thought of others and encouraged me to always have faith in God’s timing and in God’s plan for our lives.
The final story I want to share with you happened just about a month ago as dad was in the hospital. Ben and I had drove home from our MN Glory tournament in Indianapolis. When we got there, he was not well but mom had told us that when he was having his chest tubes inserted that dad grabbed the hand of the surgeon and prayed over him as he began to insert the chest tube to give the surgeon wisdom. Then while Ben and I were there one of the doctor’s came in and began to start the exam. But dad had other plans first. He asked the doctor to pray for him. She looked stunned and didn’t know what to say. Dad again asked her to pray for him. She said, what God to you pray to. Dad said, the one true God, my savior Jesus Christ. So the doctor began to pray for dad. Then dad in tears began to pray for the doctor and quoted James 1:6 “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” Mom, Ben, a nurse, the doctor and I all stood in the room next to dad in tears.  Even in his final days was sharing of Jesus’ love. He had boldness like no other. He was a disciple of Christ, spreading news of Jesus to all who came in his path.
Dad lived what he preached. He wanted each child and grandchild to know Jesus as their personal savior. As it says in 3 John 4 I have no great joy than to hear my children walk in truth. This was dad’s greatest joy.

Finally I would just like to share a poem I wrote for dad….. 

A man with character, strength and grace

A man who would greet each person with an embrace

A man who could withstand any amount of pain

A man that I never heard complain.

 

A Doctor well educated and full of knowledge

A Doctor that all of his colleagues respect and acknowledge

A Doctor who was devoted to each baby who came into his care

A Doctor full of compassion and was a big teddy bear.

 A Coach who dedicated all of his time to each player

A Coach who ended each game and practice with a prayer.

A Coach who shared the salvation message with each team

A Coach who tried to help each player live their dream.

A husband so loyal, caring and respectful

A Husband always there and always helpful

A Husband  who adored his wife more than words can say

A Husband who always spiritually led the way.

 A dad who showed us how important it was to pray

A dad who led by example every step of the way

A dad who taught us how to walk like Jesus walked

A dad who showed us how to talk like Jesus talked.

 

A Papa whose kisses were sweet to the touch

A Papa who loved his grandchildren so much

A Papa whose legacy will live in our children’s hearts

A Papa whose grandchildren got his smarts.

I know I will miss him dearly

I can count all the ways.

My father, my friend,

Strong in the Lord until the end.

 

 

Ben's Speech:

When you are a little boy, you look at your father like he is Superman…you think he can do no wrong.

As you grow older, you start to look at him as the toughest guy you know…

When I was in the 7^th grade I remember having a discussion about our dads’ at the lunch table with Joe Holm, Mike Wiggin and Dan Helm. We were all talking about how our dads would win in a fight against each other…I started coming up with ridiculous scenarios where my dad would win…..we ended up all agreeing that Mikes dad could beat all of our dads up…..although I still secretly thought my dad would win.

Normally when you move on to the High School years, you start wanting to hang out with friends exclusively. I never hit that phase as I just wanted to hang with my dad. When other kids were partying, I was going to movies and going to basketball games with my dad.

Next is college. The party years, supposedly the greatest years of your life as I always heard growing up. Again, all I ever wanted to do was hang out with my dad. This time it was even more basketball games and movies with my dad.

Next stage of life is getting married and starting a family. Almost everyone I know says they talk to their dad/mom once a week/month or in some extremely baffling cases to me…once every 4-6 months.

Apparently I never hit that phase either. I spent the last 9 years of my life calling my father literally every night after work to just talk about my day. If I forgot to call him, he would call pretty much on the dot at 8 pm to ask how my day was and to tell me he loved me.

That’s the thing about my father, he was a man who loved and he had a specific order as well. His order was:

1.    The Lord Jesus Christ

2.    My Mother Cathie Paxson

3.    His Kids: Myself, My sister, My wife, My brother in Law David and my sister Ann Elizabeth who died after birth.

4.    Grandchildren: Addison, Elizabeth and Ethan

5.    His Friends (Glory Players, Work Colleagues, the babies he took care of)

Growing up with my father gives you a full dose of what a Godly man is and how a Godly father/husband should live his life.

How a father will love and cherish his wife and put her above everyone.

How a Godly father will raise his children to love the Lord God Almighty. He will not lie, he will not cheat, he will not drink, he will not chew and he would always add in a joking tone….he will not go with the girls that do. (it is how I chose my wife)

My Dad was a walking Bible, one of the verses he brought me up on was: Exodus 20:12: Honor your father and thy mother; that thy days may be long upon the land, which the Lord thy God has giveth thee”

I spent my entire life trying to honor him and make him happy with my choices.

There are many stories I could tell you to show the side of my father that some people never saw but we don’t have the time.

So I have narrowed it down to several or 4 to be exact.

The first story I always think about is of the White Coffee Mug.

My father loved coffee mugs. I don’t think a Christmas went by in 25+ years where he didn’t request a mug of some sort for Christmas. My first chance to buy him one with my allowance came when I was 6 or 7. I bought him a White Coffee Mug, we were sitting in the car on the way home from church. He was drinking some coffee from a mug he already had that was white. See, I wasn’t too bright as a youngster and bought him basically one he already had. I asked him if he would like another one just like it. His response was “nope” and I said but what if you saw one for a good price…he said “no son, your mom bought me this one, and I love it”. I ran out of the car and up to my room and started crying. 2 minutes later my sister came running up and said “Ben, something bad happened to dads coffee mug”

I looked outside and saw my dad standing in the driveway picking up a white coffee mug that he had dropped and was completely destroyed.

He came in the house holding the mug in like 20 pieces and said “Son, I broke my mug, what am I going to do?”

I smiled and said “maybe Santa will get you one for Christmas dad”

Little did I know that when I went running up to my room crying that my sister said “Dad, Ben bought you a new white mug for Christmas”. I guess it took my dad all of 2 seconds to decide to just break his current one. My father never wanted his children to cry or get hurt.

 The next story of my father is why I view money the way I do.

In the 80’s when I was very young, my dad was working practically 7 days a week, all day for several years. He wanted to amass wealth so that when he died, he would leave a tidy sum to his kids/wife.

He had gotten his wealth over 2 million dollars, and it was obviously growing fast. His financial advisor was a former pastor. Long story short…the man he trusted with the money ended up stealing every cent and fleeing to the Cayman Islands. My father was left with none of the money he spent years accumulating. Hundreds of people had their money stolen by this man. My father had two responses that shape how I look at money.

1.    My father was the only person to not go after the man with lawsuits.

2.    After the initial shock, my father did not let the man anger him, but instead he was angry at himself as he felt the though Lord was teaching him to not seek wealth.

From that point on, my dad found jobs around the country that were willing to employ him at 10 days a month. So he could be with his family the other 20 days.

(Side note: Not a single baby died under my fathers care in his entire career.)

It is because of him that my view is “It is just money”. I could care less how much of it I have. My father passed it out like hotcakes to people, to churches, to missionaries and to kids to play MN Glory or to go to Meadow Creek School.

 The third story I want to share about my father is also from my youth:

I was inside watching a movie and my dad was snow blowing the driveway. He had been trying to clear out a part that was stuck and the next thing I knew was he had cut his finger off.

My mom called 911 and the ambulance was on its way. I went outside to see my dad. He was sitting on their front porch slowly rocking back and forth. Not crying, not panicking. He was just sitting there quoting scripture. He did this for 10 minutes until the ambulance got there.

My father was amazing like that. In times of strife and stress is when my father was at his finest.

 

The final story I want to share because it is without a doubt the most important story of my father’s life that relates to me.

Again, in my youth, I was at the kitchen table with my family.

My dad prayed for our meal. After he prayed, I asked him why he prayed and he stopped dinner and went and got his Bible. He came back and went over John 3:16 and many other verses. At that moment in my life I chose to devote myself to Jesus Christ. My father had Jesus, and I wanted to be like my father.

You probably noticed that most of the stories I told involve my youth. My youth is when my fathers, Heavenly and Earthly, shaped the man I am today.  It is why I encourage and plead with the young men who my father and I coached to be men of God, be husbands who love your wife more than Christ loved the church. Be Supermen to your children. Be the rocks of your family like my father was the rock of mine.

There are people here today who follow Christ and there others that don’t. I plead with the ones that don’t to accept Christ as your Savior and be there in heaven with my father.

My father he did many great things on this planet and helped MANY people with wisdom, money and counsel. But none of his works on this earth mattered if he didn’t accept Christ as his Savior as works will not get you into heaven. Only accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior will. I love you dad and look forward to eternity with you and will spend whatever time I have left on this earth trying to honor you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy 8th Anniversary

Wow. 8 years has sure flown by!! Well, if we want to be accurate we have been dating since 1999 and married in 2005...so technically we have been together for 14 years! WOO HOO!

I am so blessed to have married such an amazing man. One who goes to work each day with no complaints, provides for our family and comes home each night to be with me and our little girl. A man that protects, loves, faithful, funny (can make me laugh no matter what), honest, and really HOT!! :)

One of my favorite things Ben does is when I am upset, sad or whatever...he always (since the first day of our marriage) gets me to laugh by dipping me and kissing me (Photo below)!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Ben! I love you Infinity and Beyond!

Ruth 1:16-17 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”

A Father; Forever in a Daughter's Heart

When I think back to all the memories growing up with my dad; I have truly been blessed. To me there is nothing more priceless than having a dad. A dad is someone who protects, loves, plays sports with you, coaches you, disciplines you, prepares you and leads you to Christ. Those are just some of the things that my dad has done. Nothing will ever replace having a dad who leads our family where Christ is the center. One of my fondest memories I have of my dad is when I would be yelling down the laundry chute to ask what he is doing and his answer was always reading the bible.

My dad taught me through example. At an early age, he placed before me right and wrong, values to have, and traditions to hold onto. My dad always provided for our family, always was apart of our every day life, always helped, always fixed things and still does today. Let's just say if something is broken; I call my dad.

So needless to say when I had a little girl, I was so excited for her to experience what I did in having a father. When I married Ben, I knew from the get go that he would be a phenomenal father; and he is. He also has an example of an amazing father. One who sacrificed to provide for his family, who coached him in basketball to gain a Division 1 scholarship and they coach side by side today, one who generously is helping his family and others, a man of honesty, integrity and one of the biggest hearts I know.

These three men in my life have impacted me and my family in a way that no one else can. Men of integrity, courage, love, respect, protection, faithful, hope, loyal and much more. I love these 3 men more than life and words can never express the impact they have placed on my life.

I am so glad Addy has an amazing father; her eyes when he walks in each night say it all. One of my most favorite things is how my 6'5" husband gets on the ground and plays right at her level even if it is with Barbies. Another thing, I just love that Ben always sets aside time for daddy/daughter date night...They head to Perkins for some Rainbow Pancakes!

So on this special day, I say thank you to the men in my life; my husband, dad's, brother's, grandpa, uncles, cousins(by marriage). You play such an important role in shaping our kids and that can NEVER be replaced. A child needs a father and I am so thankful that I have been blessed with these amazing men in my family. Each one of you has left a lasting imprint on my life. Such a legacy of godly men who lead their families in Christ!

The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him."- Proverbs 20:7

Aviation Day with Grandpa and Grandma

This past weekend Addy and I went with my parents to Discover Aviation Days at the Blaine Airport. For those of you who don't know, my dad has his pilot's license so ever since I was little I grew up in airplanes. I think I actually took my first ride when I was 2. Over the years I have gone with my dad to airshows and have enjoyed learning about airplanes. Needless to say when Addy was born she was destined to continue on the tradition. So last year Addy went to the airshow in Blaine and we continued that tradition again this year. I don't know about you, but I love traditions and they mean even more when it is carried on from generation to generation.